It's freezing--the wind is making eerie noises and the trees are cracking--and I'm sore: I ran out the door this morning on the way to work and didn't notice the ice patch until my ass hit it. 43 isn't old, I know, but I find I groan more: I bend over to pick something up and I make these involuntary noises--little sighs--that I don't think I used to make; and when I get out of bed in the morning my back is stiff; and when I land on my ass, the footprint of the landing spot seems to stretch further on me than it used to. I fell on my left thigh, so why does my right ache?
***
There's a woman whose blog I've spent some time with over the months. She's in Europe, speaks several languages, works in theoretical math or logic or something like that. She looks at commonplace things and tries to render them mathematically, posing interesting challenges for herself and then solving them--or suggesting she's solved them; I'd have no way of knowing one way or the other. I'm charmed by it, though.
She also photographs herself nude. In the beginning it was high-contrast silhouette photography, and there was only outline. Then she began lifting her shirt so you'd see the side of her breast, or a stretch of her stomach. No doubt I am terribly inhibited--so thoroughly inhibited that I don't have even a whisper of a fantasy about baring all anonymously for strangers. And so she fascinated me. In one post she photographed herself naked from behind, embracing her son, who looked to be about 6. That was when it began to seem a little weird; I know how interested L is in my body--how boys are with their mothers at that age: the great love affair of it all. The comments from the men piled on, and her demure acceptance of the compliments continued. I lost interest; she began to seem like so many smart women I've known who are schoolgirls when it comes to their own sexuality.
I glanced back today and she's evolved to full-length naked poses on the floor, showing her face. And to think I'm afraid of my co-workers reading my blog. It's a little bit funny.
***
Go here, skip the intro, and check out the trailer--only about 7 mins, and worth it. Talk about lifting your shirt.
2 comments:
Miz I, is this the right link. I got this video of a woman with cancer, but then my computer froze up before I could finish it. If this is the woman who is exposing her body on the internet, it may be because she's afraid of dying, as I've seen terminally ill people exhibit the oddest behavior during the age of Aids deaths. My friend Judy used to talk to me about sex and said she couldn't talk about it with straight men or her girlfriends, because she said they'd think she was a slut, which she wasn't, but I thought it was interesting that she said that. Anyway, I was wondering who this TK person was on my blog, that seemed to know me, and it freaked me out a bit, because those are my iniatials, but I'm glad your back, and was worried that I never ever know what happened to you.
How funny! That they're your initials, I mean. It's really only my stand-in for the standard "to come" notation. Nothing more. It's me.
No, the cancer woman is one thing, and the exhibitionist another. As far as I know, the exhibitionist is not sick. But she's lonely, I think.
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