Wednesday, October 14, 2009

By the pound

Food and fat--is there a more tedious topic??

I'm back on Weight Watchers--firmly on it. Nothing tempts me. Pangs of hunger comfort me. It's been a month now, and it's true that I feel better eating well. True that I have more energy. True that thin people live longer, and with two kids you'd think attaining longevity would be a very simple everyday priority. But the time will come, as it always does, when I stop losing--for weeks on end--and when that happens, this simple, clean engagement will be harder to maintain. I'll begin to feel as if I am pulling on a rope for every ounce I toss off, and that if I let go even for a second, the scale will fly back to its original spot. It will feel as if the body wants one thing, and I want another. So I will try to prod it--punish it--by exercising more and eating less. And less. Until one day I see stars in the shower, and I let go of the rope.

A person gets tired of a cycle like this. Weight is such a public battle. You estimate the makeup of an overweight person a whole lot faster than you can a wife beater, or a pedophile. It's humiliating. And so pedestrian an issue to be the number one struggle of a life. But there you go. No body, no life.

I'm going to try love this time. Loving the body, as a favorite pair of jeans. Give it the time it needs, as a mother to a child. Let's see how that goes, when the clouds roll in.


sttropezbutler said...

RQM called me to tell me to read this post...he said to me: "it is very you."

Darling, I too am dealing with this exact same issue and yes we are in very similar situations...minus the kids in my case.

I TOTALLY relate to what you have written. I think the love part is a good answer...and I'm here for you if you need me!


Stephanie said...

I landed on your blog by clicking next from the blog of a friend of mine and read this post. Interesting place to land, as this struggle is a part of my story, as well. Yes, self-love is the answer, my friend...after years of struggle, two years ago something clicked. Self-love, babysteps, and no longer relying on will-power (because will-power only goes so far...check out Debbie Ford), and now 2 years later I am 30 pounds lighter, slowly on my way (another 70 to go). And, actually, as of a couple months ago, on my way to becoming a health counselor (Institute for Integrative Nutrition) to help others with the struggle. Hope if you read these words that they may help...I can hear, like me with my two daughters, that you want to live healthfully, happily and be a good example for your two children. Namaste.

sari-musdar said...


yes, for women, weight can be the hard battle.

I my self doesnt have problem with that, cause Thanks God, I have a great metabolism derived from my grandma.

Therefore I dont care about diet and exercise, but then when i did general medical check up, i realize, though slim, I have too much "fat" and cholesterol (from my dad) then it makes me wake up, to start a health life style

Linda Horvath said...

I found your comments when I clicked next from my blog! I totally relate to what you are saying. Please keep us posted of your successes. It will help me too!!!! Linda in Lynnwood WA